Guilt Trips
by Hades.Throne.Heiress
Summary: A Kira fic on why it isn't his fault that Flay died. How? A nurse told him of course! It's better than it sounds, promise. A bit of a health class thing in here, so guys not girls, beware. Rated T to be safe. Plz R


**NOTE: **A Flay CON story, meaning that there's a downside on Flay's part.

**AUTHOR:** So... this has been on my mind for some time now, but I've never gotten around to actually type it up. But this was a quick thing, took two days to type and I didn't really even self edit it, so be warned, it could be bad. And some of the events could be screwed up, so just pretend that it happened in that order of fashion.

**WARNINGS: **A bit of health class talk here, girls should be fine with it more than guys though, be warned :)

Un-beta read

**DISCLAIMER: **This story is a work of FAN-fiction. By any means, the author of this story is merely a fan, and does not (partially or wholly) own Gundam Seed (Destiny), Kira Yamato (character), Flay Allster (character) or Cagalli Yula Athha (character). I only own the story plotline of THIS fanfiction, including made up character(s). Any resemblance of actual events, stories, locales, news, persons (living or dead) are merely coincidental. Thank you and please read on .

Meaningless Guilt Trips

By: Hades.Throne.Heiress

After the first war…

As the Archangel was nearing the water territories of Orb, the nurses from the medical ward were told to start sanitizing all the bedrooms, starting with the uninhabited ones.

Nurse Luxia, a lady in her mid twenties, was pushing the tiny cart filled with cleaning products down the vacant hallway. She approached the first door on her left; she remembered it was Ms. Prissy - Flay Allster's room.

As Luxia started to punch in the six digit number code on the keypad, she immediately froze after the second soft plastic key had been pressed.

'Note to self, in the future, never, ever bad mouth the dead…If I'll even be in the future!' Luxia thought to herself horrified. Why? It's because Luxia heard muffled sobbing through the locked door - the door of an uninhabited room.

On normal circumstances, Luxia would've ran away as quickly as possible and warn everyone of the haunted room in two seconds flat… but it wasn't a normal situation. She'd be stuck on the ship for the next twenty hours anyways… at the very least. That fact frightened the green haired woman even more than before.

Luxia stayed frozen in place for at least half a minute until the sobbing spirit within the room started to mutter.

The spirit was sobbing uncontrollably, "I'm so sorry…"

Luxia started to pop out question marks on the top of her head, 'Sorry? Sorry?! The little rich bitch's spirit is actually _apologizing_?! To whom though? Wait… AH! I'm hearing things now!!!' Luxia's eyes widened beyond humanely possible, finger still hovering over the number '3' key which she had previously pressed.

"…Oh Flay… it's all my fault! I'm sorry… I'm sorry… so, so sorry….It's my fault you died… I failed and couldn't protect you…" The 'spirit' continued to cry and sob and mutter regrets and apologies.

Even more question marks formed in Luxia's head. She had been placed into the Archangel ever since there were medical personals in the medical ward, meaning she knew almost everything that happened on the AA, save for the first few weeks before the medicinal crew was recruited. Nurse Luxia was absolutely positive that Flay Allster's death was nobody's fault but the war itself. Then why was this… 'person' claiming the responsibility? _Flay Allster would've dies anyways_. And Flay Allster wouldn't call herself 'Flay,' right?

POW! It hit Luxia like a ton of brick; _of course_ it isn't Flay Allster inside! It was a low raspy voice… a voice that couldn't possibly belong to a female!

Then her imagination ran wild again, what if the person inside was unacknowledged by the crew? A spy? Or someone who isn't supposed to be here at all, as in… they snuck onto the ship?!

Luxia grabbed the bottle of rubbing alcohol in her cart, broke the plastic safety seal and twisted off the cap; ready to chuck the liquid contents at the unidentified person if he caused any threat.

The green haired lady bravely took her stance and punched in the room access number. The chain of six digit numbers were valid for the lock and the mechanical door swished opened, flooding light into the dim room.

What Luxia found was a bit frightening. A young man with a head full of brown hair… sitting on the bed with his knees against his chest leaning on the wall.

The man was so into sobbing and muttering that he didn't even acknowledge the fact that his private space had been invaded. Luxia then found the man familiar…

"Ensign Yamato?"

The brunette's head snapped up at the sound of a female voice. Kira squinted his eyes at the sudden blinding light that poured in from the hallway, then noticed the cart by the doorway.

"Oh… I'm sorry, am I in the way?" Kira's voice was hoarse, and he quickly got up from the bed, refolding the blanket he messed up.

The nurse shook her head, "No, I was just about to clean the rooms, but I heard talking, I thought Ms. Allster's spirit was… umm, roaming around in her room…" she looked embarrassed at admitting the fact that she was so superstitious.

"Oh…" Kira avoided eye contact with the elder lady. "I hope I wasn't holding you up in cleaning. And by the way, I'm Kira, Kira Yamato," he introduced himself to the lady.

"Huh? Oh, nice to meet you Yamato-san, I'm Luxia Anderson, I'm from the medical ward; and no, I wasn't held up," Luxia smiled at Kira and started to push the cart into the room. "I was just a bit startled that there was someone in here when I was told that it was supposed to be vacant."

Kira blushed, the walls and doors really wasn't that sufficient in the AA, maybe he should suggest them to make it soundproof. "Umm, you didn't hear anything, did you?" Kira desperately hoped that the nurse didn't hear him bawl.

Luxia didn't look at Kira, but started to wipe the desk down with a wetted cloth. "Oh, I did, but I'm not sure if it was you," Kira caught a smile when Luxia walked pass him to the cart. "But I did hear something about being sorry and 'it's my fault.' Which I don't quite understand…" Luxia frowned at the table which she was now wiping with a dry cloth. "I mean, Ms. Flay would've died sooner or later…"

Kira wasn't sure how to interpret that sentence, did she mean that we were all going to die at one point, or with her attitude she would've died anyways? He tried to keep calm, lashing out on the nurse would do no good, and she might have just said what she wanted to mean in the wrong way.

"Oh wait!" Luxia turned abruptly towards Kira, "You don't know about it, do you?"

"…Know about what?" Kira took a seat on the chair which Luxia had finished cleaning, confusion was written on his forehead.

"The reason why Ms. Allster would've died anyways," Luxia furrowed her brows, thinking that Kira should have known.

"What do you mean, Ms. Anderson?" Kira was starting to think that maybe he didn't misinterpret her sentence before.

"…How do I tell you? Umm, do you happen to know what a tampon is, Yamato-san?" Luxia was a bit uncomfortable with teach health lessons to a guy.

Kira blushed, he's heard of that cotton stick object in health class ever since fifth grade. "Please call me Kira, and yes, I've heard of a tampon… but does it have anything to do with anything?"

There's the hard part… explaining about the tampon… "Well, you see, there's a thing called toxic shock syndrome (TSS), it's a disease that's rare, but deadly, and more commonly known to naturals than coordinators since you guys have a naturally stronger body. One thing that can cause TSS is using tampons for too long and keeping the bacteria inside the body. Well… as long as I've been on the Archangel, Ms. Allster's have had six tampons stuck. Six is the times I've been inside the ward, maybe there were more times when I wasn't in the room."

Kira was shocked, they haven't even been on the ship for a full year, and Flay had at least six tampons stuck?! "…Oh… my ….gawd…" Was all Kira could think or speak.

"Yes, it does seem like a tragedy. But I still don't know how she got the tampons, I mean; we don't have any tampons on the ship, and nobody would bring so much of stuff like that to school or shopping or something, she was a civilian when we took her in, right?"

"Uhhh… yes, I believe so…" Kira started drifting off, once again thinking. 'WAIT!' His mind suddenly yelled. Kira's purple eyes expanded, his coordinator mind seemed to have remembered something peculiar about the word 'tampon…'

"_Oh my lord! SPARE ME!" Cagalli exclaimed when she went through the shopping lists people on the ship gave her._

"_What is it Cagalli?" Kira looked up from trying to avoid the sun glaring at him._

"_That Flay girl!" Cagalli held up a long sheet of paper with loopy handwriting on it. "She wants this cleanser that exfoliates by this… whatever brand; night cream for her face, night cream for her neck, night cream for her hand!!! Then there's the day lotion with no more than SPF 15, and LIPSTICK?! Why would she need that? And where do I find tampons with a _braided scented string _and__ a plastic applicator?! This girl is twisted!!! We're in the desert for George Glenn's sake!" Cagalli continued to rant on about Flay's ridiculous shopping list, saying that those things aren't even necessities._

_Cagalli ranted on and on until the waiter has arrived with their orders. Kira just soon tuned out Cagalli, only hearing on bit and parts of what she was saying._

"Yea… I remember her _telling_ us how she got 'forced' to go into a shelter with some 'sweaty people' while she was innocently shopping," Luxia fed Kira information non-stop. "I remember the first time Ms. Flay came into the ward; it was in the afternoon, after your meeting with Ms. Cagalli and her group. Ms. Flay's tampon was stuck really up high… much further than putting another tampon in after that one… it was hard to get out I must say…"

When Kira registered what could've happened before "her tampon got stuck," he grew unhealthily pale, especially when he heard the time – the day after they… had some vigorous activities on the bed.

Luxia turned around after hearing no reply at all from the mobile suit pilot, "Oh my," upon noticing Kira's whitish face, she assumed it was her fault, "I really shouldn't have scared you so much with the female body parts. I'm really sorry, Mr. Kira."

Kira was actually not at all bothered by the human body parts, but now, he knew he was free of guilt! It wasn't his fault that Flay died! No wonder it seemed hard to find 'pleasure' with Flay that night… there was a 'cotton stopper' there.

Kira's face soon turned back to his originally pink skin, a healthy sign. He tried to hide his smile, thinking it was inappropriate to smile at one's death. "It's alright Ms. Luxia, I actually have to thank you for enlightening me!" With that, Kira _almost_ skipped out of the room and down the hallways. Finally, free of his guilt trip.

**AUTHOR: **Thanks for reading, and please review, I'd like to know what you think of my idea.

As I said before, the timing's a bit screwed up, like I don't even know if the AA went to Alaska or whatever to have more crew members before going to the desert, in my memory, no, but lets just pretend, that's what imaginations are for:)

Post Date: Aug. 30th '07


End file.
